I wrote this for school but decided to post it on here to see what you guys think.
-----------------------------------------------------
Like a sword splits through flesh, a sharp green stab
The cold ground cracks. The world fills with delight.
Peeking, the flowers pierce the earth so drab.
They illuminate a world without light
Now as this glow wanders across the land
it lives and breaths life to all in it’s path.
So minute, at the start, but now so grand
Overcoming winter’s somber grey wrath
"Spring is here!" the world excitedly cheers
Everything now cries its happy tears.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,623 Literary Works • 673,564 Reviews
Well I enjoyed it even thought I don't really like Spring but your A,B,A,B C,D,C,D E,E. You did a nice job
That was very good. Keep it up!
This is a well written poem, but I would call it a bit too flowery. By this I mean that there are a lot of extra adjectives where simply the 'bare bones' and more striking and meaningful.
I think that if you cut this down by taking out some adjectives. it would be a lot better. But even so , this is a beautiful and unique spring poem.
Thanks for the critique I haven't written much poetry.
Cait
Should be "wanders."
Maybe "Spring is here!" the world excitedly cheers.
Well, that's about all.